DEAR MISS MANNERS: Too typically for my consolation, I discover myself on the backside of a staircase, escorting a girl upstairs.
My intuition is to let the lady go first, however the unlucky result’s that after I comply with her up the steps, my eyes are on the degree of her backside. The scenario is much more difficult if brief skirts are a part of the equation.
The “answer” of my going up the steps first signifies that the lady is then left at eye-level with my buttocks (which my spouse kindly assures me shouldn’t be a hardship), presumably making them uncomfortable.
To keep away from — or no less than reduce — any discomfort, who ought to proceed up the steps first?
GENTLE READER: The proper process is that the girl goes up the steps first, and a gentleman retains his salacious ideas to himself.
Do you have to go first, nevertheless, Miss Manners, not like your spouse, believes that you’d be in no hazard of thrilling the girl behind you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I obtained an invite to a ninety fifth birthday celebration. Whereas it’s pretty to be included at such a momentous event, I used to be a bit stunned on the wording of the invitation.
After asserting the day and time, it learn that no alcohol could be permitted. I perceive that “Jenny” might not need a bunch of drunks carousing on her special occasion. Nonetheless, I believed the wording unusual and even a bit unwelcoming.
The invitation additionally introduced “No items, please” — once more, superb, as a result of what would 95-year-old Jenny do with them? — however after that, it stated, “There will probably be a field for playing cards and money.”
How would Miss Manners view such an invite?
GENTLE READER: Such an disagreeable invitation.
There isn’t a must serve alcohol, however there’s additionally no must subject a warning, as if the friends have been prone to smuggle it in. And forbidding presents whereas placing out a money field makes it clear that admission is being charged.
Ordinarily, Miss Manners would advise you to deal with this just like the fundraiser it’s — that’s, to simply accept provided that you think about it a charity you need to help. However contemplating Jenny’s age, another person might need crafted this occasion, and the invitation, on her behalf.
You would possibly need to keep away from such an individual, and as a substitute pay a separate go to to Jenny to acknowledge her birthday.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I do know that is going to sound nitpicky, however I get very barely offended after I say “Thanks” to a server they usually say “After all.”
It simply feels bizarre, like a brush-off. It seems like they’re saying, “After all you might be grateful.”
This appears to be a brand new commonplace response, particularly amongst younger servers. Generally they even appear stunned by my gratitude.
I admit that I are typically overly well mannered (sure, that could be a factor), however I actually am grateful when individuals assist me/serve me, and I would like them to know I respect them.
What ever occurred to “You’re welcome” or perhaps a informal “You wager!”?
GENTLE READER: That nit is already over-picked by people who find themselves offended by the response of “No drawback.”
Miss Manners suggests that you simply consider “After all” as brief for “After all I’m honored to serve you.”
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
